What's all the fuss about?

This week has been quite a challenging one for me. It's one of those weeks where the setbacks and low points dominate, and it is hard to celebrate the high points.

The lowest point has been getting pulled over for speeding on Monday afternoon, and receiving quite an expensive ticket during that incident. The overwhelmingly painful sting in the situation was due to the fact that I was pulled over on the way to my "artist date." I was going to go adventuring and take photos of spring flowers and trees. The ticket pretty much ruined my creative mood, and I was pretty much a basket case for the next several hours. It was disheartening. Panic, guilt, and disappointment don't seem to fit me very well.

Yesterday, I went to the doctor for my follow-up visit since I was prescribed blood pressure medication and a new medication to help acid reflux. The doctor was really great, and talked me through my questions, concerns, and he shared a lot of information that was helpful. Still, the verdict is that I need to stay on my medications and monitor my eating, blood pressure, and reactions (if any) to the meds I'm on, and then go back in about 3 weeks with the data. I do not like this. I do not like writing the foods down that I eat. I don't like numbers. I don't like dealing with health issues.

I guess I just feel like I've been fussed at a lot this week. I feel like I've been wrong; like I am rebellious or something. I guess that is normal for an artist? ha! Creatively, I know I am flourishing, but in other areas, I'm not so sure anymore. It's funny how one week can bring so much feeling of victory and joy, and another week boldly exposes so much insecurity and imperfection.

I do not feel like a work of art this week. I feel like a mess. I feel like what happens when I have been creating an artwork that I feel good about and then all of a sudden I put too much paint on the paper and suddenly get lost and confused and not sure what to do next. I'm sure this feeling will pass, and I will figure things out. It might take some reworking, resting, and experimenting, but I'm sure I will find a creative way to keep going.